Monday, February 29, 2016

Post Oscar Observations

I had had no intention of watching the Oscars yesterday. I’m so over all of that. But Bobby, of all people, recorded it and forced me to watch it late last night. I missed the opening and Chris Rock’s take on the diversity debacle, so I will refrain from pontificating on that. Besides, as I recently mentioned to a young black friend of mine, “I’m an old white man. Who cares what I have to say about anything, anyway?”

Nevertheless, I do have a few observations about the state of the art of the motion picture arts and sciences as illustrated by last night’s sticky love fest.

First of all, Eddie Redmayne is far and away the most beautiful woman in Hollywood. Suck it up, Charlize. Tempus fugit. You’re pushing forty-one. Here’s your walker, dear.

Bless his heart, Leonardo DiCaprio finally got the Oscar for that movie he made about Gilbert Grape. ‘Bout time. Not that I intend to see his current flick. There’s nothing more boring than watching an actor suffer for his art instead of acting for it.

Which brings me to Spotlight, the movie that won best picture, and the only movie I actually saw—suffered through—like, Saturday night. I wasn’t too impressed, and that’s going some cause I’ve always had a thing for Ruffalo. The movie made one thing clear, though. You don’t ever want to act with children, pets, or Stanley Tucci. They’re all gonna steal whatever scene they’re in. Tucci did it to Streep in that movie about Julia Child. What chance did any of those guys or that girl stand in this flick? Jeez, the Stan-man never even stooped to look anyone in the eye. They were not worthy.

And, finally, I kind of feel sorry for the girl that won the Best Actress award. We’re never going to see her again. Hey, at least, the kid in her movie is gonna get to grow up!

That’s about it for me. Like I said, I didn’t catch the whole show. I hope you had a pleasant night.


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