Saturday, June 16, 2012

Modern Technology: Just Another Means of Dashing Your Dreams?

I pay a lot of money for DirecTV, three-quarters of $200.00.

You may ask, "What is there on television to watch that is worth $150.00 dollars a month?"

I would have to say, "Nothing."

But the Ball and Chain likes his Spartacus on one of those Encore channels. He also likes Dexter on Showtime, The Borgias, wherever it is, and the occasional hit on HBO. The only high-end channel I have managed to get him to live without is Cinemax.

Other than that, he never misses an episode (or a rerun) of any show dealing with obnoxious people running a pawn shop, more obnoxious people trying to pawn their trash as treasure at a pawn shop, or phony reality stars paying bottom dollar for some forgotten soul's lifetime accumulation of stuff left in a godforsaken abandoned storage locker.

Then there's his six-hour daily helping of In Session, featuring trials that happened several years ago but are being bandied about as happening Live! Right Now! Oh, which way will the jury lean?

Google it and find out.

Now and then, however, something will come along that I would like to watch, which I cannot watch while it is occurring because the Ball and Chain is watching something else, so I DVR it to catch it at another time, which is usually between 2:00 and 10:00 AM while the Ball and Chain is asleep.

That was the case last night. There was a Dateline NBC episode I wanted to catch.

I know you expect better of me, something with British accents on PBS or BBCAmerica (please, have you looked at BBCAmerica lately?), but occasionally I like to get lowdown and rut for truffles in the mud, or just rut in the mud for its own sake.

And last night was a rut night for me. I wanted to rut, I mean record, Dateline NBC.

I also wanted to record Common Law on TNT or USA, whatever.

Have you ever seen Common Law? It's a cable series about two cute L. A. cops who are partnered but don't get along (in a cute way) with each other, so their cute and cuddly captain or lieutenant, whatever, sends them to cute couple's counseling. In between cute sessions, they battle crime in the cute, not-so-mean, sunny streets of L. A.

The thing about Common Law, though, is that it's filmed here in New Orleans. That's right, New Orleans is now standing in for Los Angeles for the benefit of the Los Angeles film people we basically pay to come down here from Los Angeles and get in our New Orleans way.

Understand, though, the only reason I ever watch this show is to try to spot the locals and locations.

So what does Common Law have to do with Dateline NBC? This: Dateline NBC started at 8:00 o'clock last night and ran for two hours. Common Law began at 9:00. Therefore, for an hour, the two programs overlapped, and my DirecTV hookup only allows me to record two overlapping programs at a time.

Unbeknownst to me, the Ball and Chain spotted a program last night (also set to run from 8:00 to 10:00) that he believed he could ill afford to miss, something about yet another Flying Wallenda trying to walk a tightrope across Niagara Falls. To make the prospect even more irresistible to him was the thought that this was something I would not want to miss either, another Wallenda trying to walk a tightrope across Niagara Falls.

Unfortunately, and meaning no offense, I don't care much about any Wallendas anymore. Besides, if this Wallenda was going to make it across the Falls or slip along the way, we all of us around the world would have heard about it this morning. Go ahead, check it out.

Can you guess now what the Ball and Chain did? Of course, you can. He didn't delete the recording of Common Law, which, being a cable series, will rerun all weekend long. He deleted Dateline NBC, which will never run again till after I am dead and buried and long forgotten.

Do you know what that's like?

That's like somebody taking you out to an expensive restaurant ... and ordering boiled cabbage for you.

Hey, I'm hungry here.

All I want is what I want. Is that too much to ask?


  1. In what universe can they make N.O. look like L.A.? Actually I know their tricks but this is quite a stretch. I like to see some of those shows like the pawn stars and American pickers when there is nothing better on, but it is quite amazing with all those channels that there is often nothing good on. sp

  2. I know, I know, but it's true. They filmed quite a bit in City Park and out by the Lake. The couples' therapy sessions take place at the Law Building on the 600 block of St. Charles. When they really want to pull out the L. A. stops, they film on rooftop heliports in the CBD. I'm telling the truth!


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