Wednesday, February 8, 2012

When I Died

When I died, something in me changed.

I lost something.

Before I died, I genuflected. I submitted to what others wanted of me, gave them what they wanted from me, and waited in the corner till they called.

But my death swept all of that away.

The dust and clutter my death took from me left me lighter, fitter, swifter, and less willing to accommodate.

In return, death gave me strength and a clearer sense of discernment.

What I do now, I do for me. It is my dream, my vision, that I shape.

You can come with me or go. Your decision does not matter.

To me, it does not matter.

To you, of course, what matters will be what your death leaves to you.

And which of your deaths you have died.

For each of us dies more than once, although not each of us endures our deaths aware; and each death has it's reason and its purpose.

8 comments:

  1. Tell me, dear Glenn, what this means to you. Email me if it's more than you want to type here. It speaks to me, this post. I really does, and I want so much to understand it's deeper resonance for you. 37paddington@gmail.com. Seriously. 

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  2. This is exactly right..and I am with you.

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  3.  Forgive my taking so long to respond. Every time I've tried, I've wound up saying too much and not nearly enough.

    Think of this as an attempt at a prose poem. This is not reportage. Let my try instead to direct your thoughts away from the very obvious.

    I did not die nor did I endure a near-death experience. I am speaking of
    Death as it is considered in the Tarot: as a portent of change.

    The poem (if it is a poem) speaks of my past ways of dealing with friends and coworkers regarding to the work I do, my so-called art, whatever you might want to call whatever it is I do.

    I am rejecting my past capitulations to guidelines set for me by people whose ideas I believe were inferior to mine.

    The whole thing is perhaps my own belated Declaration of Independence.

    Hopefully, it's more than that or can become more when a person brings her own experience to the scenario depicted. Or it could be what you would want to make of it and nothing more—nor less.

    ("Dying more than once" refers to my belief that we are capable of change and that there are life passages [rites of passage?] we naturally travel through at certain demarcations in our lives.)

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  4. In addition to the life passages, there are also very memorable and personal points in time when we gain understanding and acceptance of life and death., or at least death, of everyone and therefore ourselves.  

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  5. oh how this resonates for me today! thank you, my friend, for this frame through which to view my own passage, and I wish you all the joys of rebirth. 

    ah. hugs.

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  6. as I said exactly right and I'm with you!  :)

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