- First of all, don't panic. Not yet. You still have time. Stop and think. Decide what you need to save should you have to evacuate. You certainly don't want to leave the expensive stuff, so make sure you leave room in your car for the widescreen TV's, the computers, more than three-days' worth of clothes and underwear, and any kids and pets that might want to tag along. I assure you you will find lodging somewhere along the way that will allow you to board them in the same room with you or, at least, direct you to a kennel.
- If you have photo albums, take them with you. It's a little thing, but you will miss them if you lose them.
- Before you leave, get some plywood and nail it over your windows and your doors. Get some bright, glow-in-the-dark paint and slap messages across the front of your house. Things like, "We have guns, and we're not afraid to use them." Or, "We left the pit bulls and the anaconda inside with not much food."
- Wherever you might happen to find yourself, you will find that people are kind. As long as you are polite and pitiful and don't stay too long.
- Once it's all over, and you make your way back, you might meet some people from an outfit called FEMA. They will offer you money. It's okay to take it, but put it in the bank and don't spend it for at least seven years. They have a way of coming back to you later on and telling you you didn't deserve it after all and you have to pay it back. Now. Oh, and if they offer you a trailer, do not get in it. Those things can be more dangerous than the hurricane.
Y'all take care now, and have a nice day.