Sunday, April 5, 2009

What's with the Weekends?

You might not know this, but I'm a stat whore, a flagrant, voracious stat whore. I spend most of my online time perusing my daily list of visitors. I enjoy it, seeing what cities and countries you're coming from, your service providers, the lengths of your visits, how you found me, the browsers you use ... even your ip addresses, especially your ip addresses.

I know who you are, and I keep all your data on spreadsheets.

Don't worry, I would never misuse the information I have nor abuse your trust.

I'm only curious about a trend I've been noticing.

On weekdays, Mondays through Fridays, I have a steady-flowing stream of visitors plashing in and dashing out. But on Saturdays and Sundays, it's as though some bitter beaver had erected a dam right up there before the final bend in this little rivulet whose currents would swirl you here to me.

What's up with that? What happens to you on weekends?

Are you sleeping late and having breakfast in bed? Are you doing laundry? Playing T-ball with the kids? Shopping? Copulating like rodents? What?

All of a sudden you've got no time to call or write?

If I were selling appliances here I'd be worried.

I think I know, though. You're reading me from work, aren't you? Uh-huh, as soon as the boss has checked in on you and left to make the rest of his rounds, you swoop that cursor up to your bookmarks and open me like a titty mag.

That ain't properly right, you know. Some would call it stealing - time and pay - yeah, employment theft.

Now, I'm not telling you this to scare you or anything. Like I said before, I wouldn't use the data I've amassed to inflict harm on anyone.

But a little visit on a Saturday or on a lazy Sunday morning would be nice. A quick hello to see how I'm doing. Nothing more.

Wouldn't that be nice? It would.

See you soon.

4 comments:

  1. I am a new visitor...I'll just say hi!

    ravn from Norway
    http://nightwatcherandflamekeeper-ravn.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Hi" back at you, baby. I've been following your journey, too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. most of my blog perusal was a symptom of my joblessness, and eagerly seeking a distraction during the job hunt. now that i'm gainfully employed it just doesn't occur to me to get on the nets as much.

    that doesn't answer your question.

    i've often wondered if people are actually reading me yet, i don't know how to check and have been too lazy to find out.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Congratulations, Scott, I didn't know you'd found new work. (The way you can tell if you're being read is with a stat counter - like that little Sitemeter widget to the left.)

    ReplyDelete

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