Friday, January 14, 2005

It Had to Come from Clinton, Right?

New Scientist.com reports that the Pentagon under Bill Clinton hoped to develop new chemical weapons, the most remarkable of which would be the Gay Gas of Love.

Here's how I gather it would work. You've got your two armies lined up in battle formation, right? You charge. As you approach the enemy, you whip out your little bottle (or cannister - it is a war, after all, and glass breaks) and spritz the enemy. Voila! They all turn gay and fall in love with their comrades

Or would they fall in love with you? Maybe that's why this concept was not pursued.

Or was it not pursued? Could this be the shadowy fountainhead of the so-called gay agenda? Is our vehemently heterosexual government spritzing its citizens with lavendar crop dusters? Next time you go into your local Macy's or Dillard's, watch out for those lacquered babes who rush to you with their "perfume" samples, buddy. You cannot be sure you are safe in this uncertain world. Better to stick with Walmart.

But I wonder now, does this mean there are no major appliances to be had for every new gay recruit?

2 comments:

  1. LOL...great post. However, I think i would rather take my chances with the spritz girls at Macy's than lower myself to shop at WallyWorld!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great riposte, too. Thanks. But as for Wally-World, watch out for them greeters!

    ReplyDelete

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